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For the life of me, I can't think of a single instance when I've cursed to myself, "Dang, I wish I had a space-aged pen that wrote upside down, underwater and on greasy paper." But, it probably would come in handy if I was ever buried alive in a coffin or needed to scribble a note to my editor explaining that this week's column would be late because I just drove off a bridge and was presently lying underwater at the bottom of a lake.

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